Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
