I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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