Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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