I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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