drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
