He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
