there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
