i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
