My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
