mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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