hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
