Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
i now understand why vodka
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
