First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
its not stalking. its research.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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