we're blogging at a bar
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Randomize
