I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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