ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
