Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
