i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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