some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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