I could have mohawked her pubes.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
she pinky promised me she was 18
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
