i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
