Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
