thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
