google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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