is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
