my vag is so smooth its legendary
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
