dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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