love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
