Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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