like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
