Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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