I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
