I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
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