But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
