Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
