Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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