STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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