Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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