The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
