someone owes me an orgasm
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
