Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
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