one might say we're banned from that church
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Randomize
