he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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