Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
