Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
