i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
