Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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