so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
