we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
