East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
